Halls of the Heroes (PCs)

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"It is surprising the amount of trouble one can get into if one but applies onself to it."

- Kitsune, Fox Pooka

Os heróis da nossa história são o Motley do Black Lion Freehold, um grupo de Nobres Sidhe das casas Gwyddion, Fiona e Eiluned, nas mãos de quem foi colocado este local de poder pelo High Chancellor do Kingdom of Roses.

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Lords and Ladies (Changeling NPCs)

"I saw pale kings and princes too,
Pale warriors, death-pale were they all;
They cried—“La Belle Dame sans Merci
Hath thee in thrall!”"

- John Keats, "La Belle Dame Sans Merci"

Welcome to the Jungle - Londres no Mundo Real

(Citado da Wikipédia)

London is the capital of England and the United Kingdom (UK). It is Britain's largest and most populous metropolitan area. A major settlement for two millennia, its history goes back to its founding by the Romans, who called it Londinium. London's core, the ancient City of London, or the 'square mile' financial district, largely retains its mediaeval boundaries

London has a diverse range of peoples, cultures and religions, and more than 300 languages are spoken within its boundaries. In July 2007 it had an official population of 7,556,900 within the boundaries of Greater London,making it the most populous municipality in the European Union. The Greater London Urban Area (the second largest in the EU) has a population of 8,278,251. and 14 million. while the metropolitan area (the largest in the EU) has an estimated total population of between 12 million

The London Underground network, administered by Transport for London, is the oldest underground railway network in the world and the most extensive after the Shanghai Metro.

Decidi alterar ligeiramente as percentagens de populações sobrenaturais, visto que se aplicam muito mais à América.

A percentagem de changelings é de 1 para cada 100.000 humanos, ou seja, cerca de 75 changelings vivem em Grande Londres.

A percentagem de vampiros é de 1 para cada 10.000 humanos, ou seja, cerca de 750 vampiros vivem em Grande Londres.

A percentagem de lobisomes é de 1 para cada 200.000 humanos, ou seja, cerca de 37 lobisomens vivem em Grande Londres.

A percentagem de magos é de 1 para cada 200.000 humanos, ou seja, cerca de 37 magos vivem em Grande Londres.

Work in Progress

Changeling: the Dreaming Starter Kit

Fiquei muito triste quando descobri que o Changeling Starter Kit (que foi o que me fez apaixonar pelo jogo) foi tirado online, por isso, fui sacá-lo, e vou pô-lo aqui disponível para todos os que o quiserem, e se lhes apetercer, usar como cábula -- ou para atraír novas pessoas para o jogo.

Usa as regras de (óbviamente) segunda edição.

(Rick, não consigo fazer attachment do ficheiro. É preciso o ficheiro ser autorizado por mods?))

Folhas de personagens

Estas folhas são Interactivas, ie. podem editar no vosso computador, actualizar e depois imprimir. Para aumentar os pontinhos, basta clicar no PDF no valor correcto, e depois é só gravar.

Nobles: The Shining Host (4 páginas)

Sidhe (4 páginas)

O Jogo das 20 Perguntas (Advanced Character Development)

"I am more than the sum of my parts!"

-- Anonymous

Eu sei que aqui estão um MONTE de perguntas, e não, não espero que respondam por escrito a todas. Mas pensar nas respostas ajuda, sem dúvida, a formarem uma melhor opinião sobre a vossa personagem.

Introduction Questions
1. Give a two or three word description of yourself. (Describe your concept.)
2. Do you have any nicknames, street names, titles, nom de plume?
3. What is your full birth name?
4. Where do you live?

5. What do you perceive as your greatest strength?

6. What is your most obvious flaw or weakness?
7. Was there any event or cause of these weaknesses?

Physical Traits
1. How old are you?
2. What is your gender?
3. What is your species/race?
4. How tall are you?
5. How much do you weigh?
6. What is your general body type, frame, bone structure, and poise?
7. What is your skin colour?
8. What is your hair colour?
9. What is your hair style?
10. What is your eye colour?
11. How attractive are you?
12. What is your most distinguishing feature?
13. Do you have any scars, tattoos, or birthmarks?
14. If so, how did you acquire them?
15. What do these distinguishing marks look like?
16. Do they have any special significance?
17. Where are they located?
18. What is your handedness (left/right)?
19. Do you resemble some currently known person?
20. What kind of clothing do you wear?
21. What is your clothing's style or level of sophistication?
22. Do you wear makeup?
23. Do you wear glasses/contacts?
24. What sort of vocal tone do you have?
25. Do you get sick?

History
1. Where is your homeland?
2. What are its people like?
3. Are you aware of it's history?
4. Are you patriotic or a social outcast?
5. What are your opinion of home?
6. What is your home town?
7. Do you have any past secrets you don't others to find out?
8. How far would you go to keep such secrets from being revealed? What would you do if the truth became known?
9. What do you fear would occur if the truth became known?
10. Were there any traumatic experiences in your early years (death of a family member, abandonment, orphaned at an early age, etc.)?

11. Briefly describe a defining moment in your childhood and how it influenced your life.
12. What was childhood like for you?
13. Did you have any childhood friends?
14. If so, who and where are they now?Are you still close to them or have you grown apart?
15. What stupid things did you do when you were younger?
16. Which toys from your childhood have you kept?Why? What do they mean to you?

17. Do you have any deep, dark secrets in the past that may come back to haunt you?
18. What conflicts might arise from your past?
19. Are you who you claim to be?
20. Do you have any sort of criminal record?

Family
1. Who were your parents?
2. Were you raised by them?
3. If not, then why didn't they and who did raise you?
4. What is your father's full name?
5. What is your mother's full name?
6. What did your parents and/or foster parents do for a living?
7. What was their standing in the community?
8. Did your family stay in one area or move around a lot?
9. How did you get along with their parents?
10. How would your parents describe you? Answer this in the voice of your mother, then in your father's.
11. Do you have any siblings?
12. If so how many and what were their names?
13. What was your birth position in the family (i.e.-ast born, and child, rd, etc.)?
14. How did you get along with each of their siblings?

15. What was your family life like?

16. Are any or all of your family still alive?
17. If so, where are they now?
18. Do you stay in touch with them or have you become estranged?

19. Draw out your family tree, including living and dead relatives.

20. Do you love or hate one member of the family in particular?
21. Is any member of the family special to you in any way (perhaps, as a confidant, mentor, or arch-rival)?
22. Are there any black (or white) sheep in the family (including you)?
23. If so, who are they and how did they "gain" the position?
24. If this person is not you, then how do you feel about them?

25. Do you have a notorious or celebrated ancestor?
26. If so, what did this person do to become famous or infamous?
27. What do people assume about you once your ancestry is revealed? Do you try to live up to the reputation of their ancestor, try to live it down, or ignore it?

28. Do you ever want to have a family of your own someday?
29. If so, with who or what type of person?
30. What type of person would be your ideal mate?
31. What would you be willing to do to protect such a person?
32. Is there anything you wouldn't do to protect such a person and, if so, what?

Relationships
1. Do you have any close friends?
2. If so, who and what are they like?
3. What is the history of their relationship(s) with you?
4. Do you currently have a best friend whom you would protect with your reputation or your life?
5. If so, who are they and what caused you to feel so close to them? What would have to happen for you to end this relationship?

6. Do you have any bitter enemies?
7. If so, who are they, what are they like, and what is the history of their feud with you?
8. Have you defeated them before?
9. How might these enemies seek to discomfit you in the future?

10. What valuable or important contacts do you have?
11. How did you come to know them?

12. Which person(s) or group(s) are you most loyal to?

13. List any past serious relationships that you have had, and give a brief overview of the relationship(s).

14. How do you think others generally perceive you?
15. If someone crossed your path, what would you do?

16. Who is your most trusted ally?
17. Who do you trust, in general?

18. Who do you despise and why?

19. Name seven things you hate in others.

20. For what would you die for?
21. For whom would you go to extremes for?

22. Who does you turn to when you're in trouble?

23. What is the worst thing someone has done to you?

24. What are your general reaction to an attractive member of the opposite sex who lets you know they are available?

25. How do you get along with others in the same field and/or work environment?

26. How can you be blackmailed, beaten, and tricked (by PCs or NPCs)?

27. Have you lost any loves?
28. How did you handle the situation (short & long term)?

29. Who would miss you, should you go missing?
30. Who might protect you?

31. Who might be convinced to sell you out?

32. How close are you to your friends?
33. What do they know about you?
33. What do they not know about you?

34. Are you a member of any special interest groups?
35. What is your level of involvement?

Personality/Beliefs

1. Do you, or did you, have any role models? Do you have any heroes or idols, either contemporary or from legend?
2. If so, have you ever met them?
3. Did you ever become disillusioned with former heroes or idols? If so, why and what were the circumstances?

4. Do you have any dreams or ambitions?
5. If not, why?

6. What are your short term goals (what would you like to be doing within a year)?
7. What are your long term goals (what would you like to be doing twenty years from now)?
8. If these goals seem at odds with each other or with your dreams, how do you reconcile the differences?
9. How do you seek to fulfill these dreams, goals, & ambitions?

10. Do you have any great rational or irrational fears or phobias? If so, what are the origins of or reasons behind them?
11. What, if anything, would it take for you to be able to overcome this?
12. How do you react when this fear manifests itself?
13. Are you willing to discuss, or even admit to, the situation?

14. What are your attitudes regarding material wealth?

15. How do you generally treat others?
16. Do you trust easily (perhaps too easily) or not?
17. Are you introverted (shy and withdrawn) or extroverted (outgoing)?
18. Are you a humble soul or blusteringly proud?
19. Do you act differently than you feel (concealing your true thoughts)?

20. What habits would you find most annoying in friends?

21. Is there any race, creed, alignment, religion, class, profession, political viewpoint, or the like against which you is strongly prejudiced, and why?

22. How do others typically react to you?
23. Why, in your opinion, do they act that way?

24. What are your most annoying habits?

25. What is your favourite food?
26. What is your favourite drink?
27. What is your favourite treat (desert)?
28. Do you favour a particular cuisine?
29. Do you savor the tastes when eating or "wolf down" your food?
30. Do you like food mild or heavily spiced?
31. Are there any specific foodstuffs that you find disgusting or refuse to eat?
32. Are you allergic to any food?

33. What are your favourite colour(s)?
34. Is there any colour that you dislike?

35. Do you have a favourite (or hated) song, type of music, or instrument?
36. What is your favourite bard song?

37. If you have a favourite scent, what is it?

38. What is your favourite type of animal?
39. Is there a certain type of animal that you hate or fear?
40. Are you allergic to any kinds of animals?

41. Do you have any allergies?

42. Is there anything that enrages you?
43. Is there anything which embarrasses you?
44. How do you react to being teased about it?

45. Do you believe in God (or gods, or other Deities) or not?
46. Do you actively worship and proselytize or do you simply pay lip service?
47. What lengths would you go to defend your faith?
48. Was your faith influenced or molded by anyone special?

49. Can you kill?
50. When did you decide (or learn) that you could?
51. Have you ever killed?
52. What happened, and how did you handle it?
53. When do you consider it okay to kill (under what circumstances)?
54. When do you consider it wrong to kill (under what circumstances)?
55. What would you do if someone else attempted to (or successfully did) kill under their "wrong" circumstances, what would be your reaction?
56. What if it were your enemy?
57. What if it were your friend?
58. What if it were an innocent?
59. What if the opponent were not in control of their own actions (i.e.-under duress, charmed, blackmailed, possessed, etc.)?

60. What would you do if someone shot at (attacked) you?
61. What would you do if something were stolen from you?
62. What would you do if you were badly insulted publicly?
63. What would you do if a good friend or relative were killed by means other than natural death?

64. What is the one task you would absolutely refuse to do?

65. What do you consider to be the worst crime someone could commit and why?

66. How do you feel about government (rulers) in general?
67. Do you support the current government of your homeland?
68. What form of government do you believe is the best (democracy, monarchy, anarchy, aristocratic rule, oligarchy, matriarchy) and why?

69. Are you a member of any non-religious group, cause, order, or organization?
70. If so describe it, its goals, and membership.
71. How loyal are you to this group and why?
72. How did you become a member?

73. Do you have any unusual habits or dominant personality traits that are evident to others?
74. If so, describe them and how you acquired them, as well as when they might be more noticeable and what causes them?
75. How do you react if made fun of for any of these things?

76. Do you have any unusual or nervous mannerisms, such as when talking, thinking, afraid, under stress, or when embarrassed?
77. If so, are there any reasons behind them from your past?

78. Do you have an unusual gait or accent?
79. If so, where did you acquire them?
80. Are there any circumstances where they become more (or less) evident?
81. How do you feel and react if made fun of for any of these things?

82. What is your favourite colour?
83. What place would you most like to visit?
84. What annoys you the most?
85. What (if any) are your favourite forms of art?
86. What is your most treasured possession?
87. What things can you not live without?
88. Do you have a good luck charm?

89. If your life were to end in 24 hours, what 5 things would you do in those remaining hours?

90. Does you have a "Black-and-White" view of reality or can you see shades of grey?

91. Does you prefer to tear down or build up?
92. Are you deliberate or spontaneous?

93. Do you prefer the town or the country?
94. If made to decide, would you rather be deaf or blind? Why?

95. How do you feel about magic, myth, and the supernatural?

96. Do you remember your dreams?
97. Describe a typical dream you might have.
98. Describe your worst nightmares.

Career/Training
1. Where and how were you educated?
2. Who trained you in your skills\knowledge?
3. What was your relationship with your teacher(s)/mentor(s)?
4. How did you happen across this teacher or mentor?
5. Was your mentor kind, stern, cruel, indifferent?
6. Is this person or institution still in existence?
7. Are you a prize student or did you just barely pass?
8. Have you ever done anything else for a living?

9. How do you function in combat (maneuvers, weaknesses)?
10. How would you best be defeated?

11. Have you ever received any awards or honours?

12. What have you done that was considered "outstanding" in your occupation by others in your field?

13. Is there anything that you don't currently know how to do that you wish you could?

Lifestyle/Hobbies
1. What is your normal daily routine?
2. How do you feel and react when this routine is interrupted for some reason?
3. What are your hobbies?
4. What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself?
5. What do you do for relaxation? What things do they do for enjoyment? What interests do you have?
6. How do you normally dress?
7. Do you like to dress up or down to relax?
8. Do you have a look or style? If so, describe it.
9. What do you normally wear in bed at home?
10. What do you normally wear in bed?
11. Do you wear any identifiable jewelry?

12. Where do you normally put your important, precious or rare items, or other valuables when you are sleeping?
13. What morning or evening routines do you normally have?
14. Do these change when you are on holidays

15. What pastime (that you participate in regularly) gives you the most enjoyment?
16. What pastime (that you participate in regularly) gives you the least enjoyment?

17. Do you read the newspaper?
18. If so, which sections and how often?

19. What is your idea of a good evening's entertainment?

20. Do you get seasick, airsick, motion sick (auto or animal)?
21. Do you like riding animals?
22. Any fears in traveling?
23. What are your hangout places?
24. Do you go dancing? Who goes with you?

25. What do you read? Scientific textbooks, historical novels, myths and legends, maps, cookbooks, romances, news magazines, science fiction, fantasy, horror, the newspaper, short stories?
26. What music do you like?
27. Do you have a favourite artist, band or bard?
28. Will you listen to or sing the same songs over and over, or does it drive you nuts when people do that?

29. How do you exercise? Work out at the gym, walks in the morning, run marathons, play sports, couch potato?

30. What do your desk or workspace look like? Small and cramped, huge and expansive, covered in drifts of books and papers?, neatly ordered and clean?
31. Can you find what you're looking for when you need it?

32. Where do you vacation, and how often?

33. Do you have any pets?

34. Do you keep a calendar or address book?
35. Where do you keep it?

36. Did you leave a Will?
37. What does it say?

REGRAS: Chimeras, Companions e Outros Bichos Raros

"My kitten walks on velvet feet,
and makes no sound at all.
And at the doorstep nightly sits
to watch the darkness fall.

I think he loves the Lady Night,
and feels akin to her,
whose footstep's still as his
whose touch's soft as fur."

-- Lois Weakley McKay, "My Kitten Walks on Velvet feet"

Esta secção contém as regras para criação de Chimeras Sentientes (se quiserem regras para não sentientes, digam). De todas as formas, quero que os meninos (ou meninas) que têm Chimeras, me deixem uma resposta a isto a responderem-me às seguintes perguntas (no caso que queiram que eu faça as Chimeras para vcs.)

Nome da Chimera:

Descrição Fisica:

Personalidade:

Poderes\Abilidades Notáveis: (Por ex. "Gostava que ele voasse" ou "Gostava que cuspisse fogo")

Função: (Por ex. Guarda costas\protector, conselheiro, etc.)

Origens: (De onde apareceu, Por quem foi feita ou sonhada (se tal for o caso), Se for muito poderosa, como se juntou a vcs. e como asseguram que mantém a sua lealdade, etc')

Aqui estão compiladas as regras para Chimeras. Note-se que Companion ou Chimera (Sentiente) são a mesma coisa, mas os Companions são SEMPRE inteligentes. Usem como guidelines para o nível de inteligência da Chimera sentiente.

Chimerical Companions:
Companions are the living chimera either born of a changeling's unconscious nature or purposely created through the sculpting of Glamour. Players should consult their Storytellers as to the type of Companion they have. Players should also be aware that higher level Companions have minds and personalities of their own, which may come into conflict with the character's goals. The number of dots a character has in Chimerical Companion determines how many points he has to create a companion based on the rules for chimera creation in Chapter Seven: Glamour Systems.

	* Basic: You have a simple chimerical creature as a companion. (10 Points) Examples: A small patch of mold that bubbles obscenely on your shoulder, a speck of light that flitters around your head, or a sock puppet named Bob that curls up to sleep in your pocket.
	** Minor: You have a semi-intelligent chimerical companion with language capabilities and its own personality. (15 Points) Examples: A small jeweled dragon with a smoking problem, a giant teddy bear with a Brooklyn accent, or a talking moon cat.
	*** Useful: You have a chimerical companion that can speak and communicate quite well, and that has a mind of its own, often being more of a nuisance than a help. (20 Points) Examples: A speed demon that looks like a chimerical sports car, a talking chimerical ferret that hoards shiny objects, or a small green alien that sniffs at everything it sees.
	**** Significant: You have a highly intelligent chimerical companion that can be of great help to you. (30 Points) Examples: A griffin that can fly, a unicorn that can appear to mortals, or an owl that quotes Shakespeare and knows the trods well enough to serve as a guide.
	***** Incredible: You have a chimerical companion with a sharp and quick mind and extensive magical abilities. (50 Points) Examples: An ancient djinn that can affect both the Dreaming and the real world, or a dragon with a broad variety of Redes at its disposal.

Building Chimerical Creatures

Traits

Chimerical creatures are created with these rules for use with the Chimera Background. All sentient chimerical creatures have seven fundamental types of Traits: Physical, Social and Mental Attributes, Abilities, Glamour, Willpower and Health Levels. Nonsentient chimerical creatures have Physical Attributes, Glamour and Health Levels. Creatures of the Dreaming may also possess chimerical powers, called Redes.

Attribute Cost

All chimerical creatures are designed with chimera points, which can be allocated among the chimera's Attributes in almost any manner. Most chimera from the Near Dreaming may have anywhere from eight to 36 chimera points (see the Chimera Background, pg. 146). Some, however, are far more powerful. Chimera can go above the human maximum of 5 in any Attribute, though one can never have an Attribute higher than its own Glamour rating.
Physical Attributes: Most chimera have quasi-physical bodies because of their rather crude Glamour construction. (Chimera with the Dreamform Rede are the exception.) Chimera with physical forms have three Physical Attributes: Strength, Dexterity and Stamina. If an attacker disperses a chimera, but does not destroy it, the chimera's Attributes return at the rate of one point for each Attribute per week.
Cost: Each chimera point buys three points to allocate among a chimera's Physical Attributes. Chimera do not begin with one dot in each Attribute as characters do.
Mental Attributes: All sentient chimera have the three Mental Attributes: Perception, Intelligence and Wits. Nonsentient chimera do not have Mental Attributes, though some may appear intelligent. Such chimera have limited behavioral patterns and cannot grow in knowledge or make independent decisions outside of their "original programming."
Cost: One chimera point buys three points to allocate among the three Mental Attributes. Chimera do not begin with one dot in each Attribute as characters do.
Social Attributes: Chimera are dream-creatures and are often socially active. All sentient chimera have the three Social Attributes: Charisma, Manipulation and Appearance. (Appearance can have a rating of zero — monstrously ugly.) Nonsentient chimera are not required to have Social Attributes, but may possess them. A nonsentient chimera may still have a high Appearance. It may even be charismatic or a convincing speaker, even if it is really nothing more than an automaton.
Cost: Each chimera point buys three points to allocate among the chimera's three Social Attributes. Chimera do not begin with one dot in each Attribute as characters do.

Abilities

Chimera may have almost any Ability that can be possessed by changelings or other creatures in the World of Darkness. If a person can dream of someone doing something, then a chimera can do it too. A chimerical duelist may be just as good with a sword as the best changeling warrior. A sentient chimera may be a great, original artist. Chimerical Abilities do not usually exceed the human maximum of 5, but potent chimera from the Dreaming may surpass the most talented humans in skill.
Cost: One chimera point buys three Ability points.

Glamour

All chimera have some Glamour, or they would cease to exist. Most have only a few points, while legendary creatures from the Far Dreaming and Deep Dreaming may have almost limitless dream power. Chimera cannot regain Glamour while in the mundane world unless they visit a freehold, are given it by a changeling, or have the Steal Glamour Rede. Chimera regain one Glamour an hour in the Dreaming.

Cost: One chimera point buys one point of Glamour.

Willpower

Willpower suffuses a sentient chimera's Glamour, giving it independent purpose and direction. Sentient chimera need Willpower to fuel certain Redes. Nonsentient chimera do not have Willpower. Chimera regain Willpower at the rate of one point per day.
Cost: Three chimera points buys one point of Willpower.

Health Levels

Physical chimera have a very real substance to those in, and of, the Dreaming. Kithain can destroy chimera through "physical" chimerical means. A chimerical sword draws blood, and a chimerical fire bums chimera and changeling alike. This damage may force changelings into their mortal seemings, but it destroys chimera.
The penalties applied for losing Wound Levels is exactly the same as for changelings until the chimera exceeds seven Health Levels. Once past this point the Storyteller may decide the affects of additional Health Levels.
Cost: One chimera point buys two Health Levels. The limit to Health Levels is five times the chimera's Stamina score.

Attack

All physical chimera can inflict Strength + 1 chimerical damage, unless they use weapons or Redes.

Redes

These strange powers are displayed by many chimera. The variety of these powers is seemingly endless; a few examples follow. A chimera uses Glamour to power most of its Redes, but needs Willpower to affect the mundane world. Not all chimera have Redes.
Chimera Point Cost: This is the number of chimera points that must be spent for a chimera to possess a Rede.
Use Cost: This is the number of Glamour points that must be spent for a chimera to use a Rede.

Example Redes

• Aggravated Damage — Chimera may use this Rede in tandem with the Wyrd Rede (see below) to cause aggravated, real-world damage.
Chimera Point Cost: 3
Use Cost: None

• Armor — The chimera may grow armor to protect its physical form. Types of armor include tough skin, metal plating, dragon scales and chitinous exoskeletons.
Chimera Point Cost: 1 (per point of armor)
Use Cost: None

• Befuddle — This power confuses its target, making it difficult to perform any action. Roll Glamour with a difficulty equal to its target's Willpower. The target loses one die from all Dice Pools for every success that the chimera achieves in excess of the victim. The effect lasts as long as the chimera remains in the victim's presence.
Chimera Point Cost: 3
Use Cost: 1

• Dreamform — The chimera is composed of a more rarefied, purer Glamour than most chimera arc. It does not have a physical form. (It is still visible, however, unless it has the Rede Hide.) Kithain must use Arts or treasures if they wish to affect it, as normal chimerical means will do no good. A chimera with this Rede does not need to possess Physical Attributes, but must still have Health Levels. (If this Rede is purchased, the Stamina limit on Health Levels is ignored.)
This Rede is permanent, unless the chimera is exposed to high levels of Banality (it touches an Autumn Person, for example). In such instances, the chimera's current Glamour is rolled (difficulty equals the source's Banality). If the roll fails, the chimera loses its Dreamform instantly and gains two chimera points to be allocated among Physical Attributes that it develops suddenly. The chimera remains in this physical form as long as it remains in contact with the Banality that changed it. If the Glamour roll botches, the change is permanent.
Chimera Point Cost: 5
Use Cost: None

• Enchantment — This Rede allows a chimera to affect nonfae, and allows them to affect it. The chimera may interact with a human, chat amiably with him, or attack him. All damage is still chimerical, and the human forgets the encounter quickly. (Refer to the Mists Chart, pg. 208.) The chimera would need the Wyrd Rede to affect the physical world.
Chimera Point Cost: 3
Use Cost: This Rede costs one Glamour per turn to use, or one per hour in a freehold or the Dreaming.

• Ensnare — The chimera can attempt to physically restrain its target in some manner. The ways in which chimera do this vary widely (a spider's web, a net, sticky foam). An appropriate attack roll is made, or the Ensnare is set in advance in hopes that someone will blunder into it. Ensnare has Strength 2 and two points of armor for every three points of permanent Glamour possessed by the chimera. Chimera with less than three points of permanent Glamour have an Ensnare with Strength 1 and one point of armor.
Chimera Point Cost: 2
Use Cost: 1 to capture one human-sized object

• Fear — Chimera with this Rede can cause a subject to freeze with fear or retreat in stark terror. Fear persists for one to 10 turns. The victim may make a Willpower roll (difficulty 6); each success reduces the Rede's duration by one turn. This fear can be generated by any number of means; some chimera frighten their targets by their mere appearance.
Chimera Point Cost: 2
Use Cost: 1

• Fester — This Rede causes a victim to manifest the symptoms of a particular disease. The Storyteller decides at what rate the disease progresses, but it is often extremely fast. A disease that normally would take years to manifest may do so in hours. A victim may cure the effects of this Rede by making an opposed Willpower roll and gaining more successes than the chimera does, although the victim must be aware of the chimera's presence to resist. Primal •••• (Heather Balm) may heal damage inflicted by this Rede, but will not cure the disease.
Chimera Point Cost: 5
Use Cost: 1 per Health Level of damage inflicted by the disease

• Flight — The chimera can fly under its own power. Changelings seek chimera with this Rede for flying carpets and the like. The chimera can fly 25 feet per turn per point of Dexterity that it has.
Chimera Point Cost: 3
Use Cost: 1 per hour

• Gulp — Chimera with this power may unhinge their jaws wide enough to swallow victims. If a chimera gains five or more successes on an attack roll, it swallows the victim whole. Damage is automatic each turn thereafter, if the chimera chooses to inflict it. Some chimera may hold their victims inside themselves just long enough to terrify them, and then spit them out again. Victims swallowed by redcap-inspired chimera are rarely so lucky.
Chimera Point Cost: 3
Use Cost: 2

• Glamour Pact — The chimera can protect itself from being crafted, forged or trapped in a treasure against its will. The difficulty of any attempt to do so by changeling artisans is increased by two, and the chimera may be even more difficult to control than the average unwilling chimera. Changelings consider most Glamour Pact items to be "cursed," and the chimera in one may still use any Redes that are not based on Physical Attributes. Chimera with Glamour Pact that are trapped in items retain their Glamour and Willpower scores. Their new forms dictate their physical characteristics. Some chimera use this power to force an artisan to change them back to their true forms (often a difficult task). Some, however, retain their imposed forms for years, relishing their status as cursed objects. Only the greatest or most insane changeling artisans work with chimera that possess this Rede.
Chimera Point Cost: 5
Use Cost: 1 permanent Glamour

• Healing — The chimera can heal its own wounds or those of others. The chimera must have the Wyrd Rede to heal nonchimerical injuries.
Chimera Point Cost: 5
Use Cost: 1 point of Glamour heals one Health Level of damage

• Hide — This Rede allows a chimera to become invisible to all changelings and enchanted beings. A Perception + Kenning roll (difficulty 8) must be made for a changeling trying to determine the location of a chimera that is using this Rede, and at least two successes must be achieved. (One success indicates the general location of the chimera.) This effect lasts for the duration of a scene (up to one hour).
Some chimera can use this Rede to hide changelings or even unenchanted beings. Hiding a changeling from another changeling functions just as described above. Hiding a changeling from the unenchanted, or hiding a unenchanted item or person requires that the chimera possess the Wyrd Rede.
Chimera Point Cost: 5 (for hiding self only); 7 (for ability to affect others)
Use Cost: 1 (and 1 per person or item affected)

• Possession — The chimera must touch the target. An opposed roll is made of the chimera's Glamour and the target's Willpower (difficulties are the opponents' scores). If the chimera rolls more successes, it possesses the victim for one turn per success in excess of the opponent's roll. If the target has a higher permanent Banality score than the chimera has permanent Glamour, the chimera loses a point of Glamour for each point of the difference. This Rede works only on Kithain unless the chimera has the Rede Enchantment.
Chimera Point Cost: 7
Use Cost: 2 Willpower

• Scuttle — Chimera with this Rede may move at truly amazing speeds.
Chimera Point Cost: 3
Use Cost: A chimera may take one extra action per Glamour point spent.

• Sense Banality — The chimera can tell how much Banality is in a person, object or place.
Chimera Point Cost: 2
Use Cost: 1 Willpower

• Shapeshift — A chimera with this power can change its appearance in almost any way it desires. It may appear to grow larger or smaller. It may turn into a creature of dazzling beauty or a monstrosity from the Nightmare Realms. This image is completely illusionary, and the chimera gains no additional abilities from this Rede. This power affects all five senses, but cannot be used to cause damage with illusionary weapons.
Chimera Point Cost: 5
Use Cost: 1 per shape change

• Steal Glamour — This Rede allows the chimera to actually steal Glamour from a changeling or even another chimera. A Willpower roll with a difficulty equal to the target's Glamour must be made for a chimera to use this Rede successfully. The number of successes rolled determines how many points of temporary Glamour are stolen.
Chimera Point Cost: 3
Use Cost: 1 Willpower

• Traverse Dreaming — This Rede allows chimera to travel to the mortal world from the Dreaming, or to enter the Dreaming from the mortal world. Chimera can travel only through established trods and portals, though some travel chimerical nods known only to their kind.
Chimera Point Cost: 5
Use Cost: 1

• Venom — Chimerical venom can cause paralysis or even "death" to changelings. The victim may suffer damage, and a successful Stamina roll (difficulty 8) must be made, or the victim may be paralyzed for one minute per Glamour point invested by the chimera.
Chimera Point Cost: 3
Use Cost: Chimera usually deliver their venom in tandem with a physical attack (bite, stinger, claw). This Rede causes one additional Health Level of damage per point of Glamour that the chimera chooses to invest (assuming that the chimera seeks to do harm with its venom).

• Weaponry — The chimera may create physical (non-ranged) weapons from its chimerical substance. These may include swords, horns or lashing tails. If a chimera loses its physical form, its weapon disappears with it, but the weapon may stay behind in some cases.
Chimera Point Cost: The chimera inflicts +1 damage for every two chimera points spent.
Use Cost: None

• Wyrd — A chimera that invokes this Rede becomes a solid creature in the real world and can cause physical damage. This is one of die rarest chimerical powers.
Chimera Point Cost: 5
Use Cost: 1 Willpower per scene

Outros Redes estão attached a este documento (a lista é gigantesca, mas os aqui postados são os mais comum. Quem quiser ter algum destes em particular, deixem uma resposta aqui para eu saber.)

Anexo	Tamanho
Redes Page 1.JPG	478.54 KB
Redes Page 2.JPG	478.84 KB
Redes Page 3.JPG	480.21 KB

The Skinhead's Hamlet

Encontrei isto como citação no Isle of the Might, por isso fui á procura do texto completo, e é um exemplo perfeito de Redcaps (ou anarcas) a terem uma aproximação à cultura. Foi escrito por um dos gajos que escreveram o Blackadder.

Dedicado à Inês.

The Skinhead Hamlet

Shakespeare's play translated into modern English.

ACT I

SCENE I

The Battlements of Elsinore Castle.

[Enter HAMLET, followed by GHOST.]

GHOST: Oi! Mush!

HAMLET: Yer?

GHOST: I was fucked!

[Exit GHOST.]

HAMLET: O Fuck.

[Exit HAMLET.]

SCENE II

The Throneroom.

[Enter KING CLAUDIUS, GERTRUDE, HAMLET and COURT.]

CLAUDIUS: Oi! You, Hamlet, give over!

HAMLET: Fuck off, won't you?

[Exit CLAUDIUS, GERTRUDE, COURT.]

HAMLET: (Alone) They could have fucking waited.

[Enter HORATIO.]

HORATIO: Oi! Watcha cock!

HAMLET: Weeeeey!

[Exeunt.]

SCENE III

Ophelia's Bedroom.

[Enter OPHELIA and LAERTES.]

LAERTES: I'm fucking off now. Watch Hamlet doesn't slip you one while I'm gone.

OPHELIA: I'll be fucked if he does.

[Exeunt.]

SCENE IV

The Battlements.

[Enter HORATIO, HAMLET and GHOST.]

GHOST: Oi! Mush, get on with it!

HAMLET: Who did it then?

GHOST: That wanker Claudius. He poured fucking poison in my fucking ear!

HAMLET: Fuck me!

[Exeunt.]

ACT II

SCENE I

A corridor in the castle.

[Enter HAMLET reading. Enter POLONIUS.]

POLONIUS: Oi! You!

HAMLET: Fuck off, grandad!

[Exit POLONIUS. Enter ROSENCRANZ and GUILDENSTERN.]

ROS & GUILD: Oi! Oi! Mucca!

HAMLET: Fuck off, the pair of you!

[Exit ROS & GUILD.]

HAMLET: (Alone) To fuck or be fucked.

[Enter OPHELIA.]

OPHELIA: My Lord!

HAMLET: Fuck off to a nunnery!

[They exit in different directions.]

ACT III

SCENE I

The Throne Room.

[Enter PLAYERS and all COURT.]

I PLAYER: Full thirty times hath Phoebus cart...

CLAUDIUS: I'll be fucked if I watch any more of this crap.

[Exeunt.]

SCENE II

Gertrude's Bedchamber.

[Enter GERTRUDE and POLONIUS, who hides behind an arras.]

[Enter HAMLET.]

HAMLET: Oi! Slag!

GERTRUDE: Watch your fucking mouth, kid!

POLONIUS: (From behind the curtain) Too right.

HAMLET: Who the fuck was that?

[He stabs POLONIUS through the arras.]

POLONIUS: Fuck!

[POLONIUS dies.]

HAMLET: Fuck! I thought it was that other wanker.

[Exeunt.]

ACT IV

SCENE I

A Court Room.

[Enter HAMLET, CLAUDIUS.]

CLAUDIUS: Fuck off to England then!

HAMLET: Delighted, mush.

SCENE II

The Throne Room.

[Enter OPHELIA, GERTRUDE and CLAUDIUS.]

OPHELIA: Here, cop a whack of this.

[She hands GERTRUDE some rosemary and exits.]

CLAUDIUS: She's fucking round the twist, isn't she?

GERTRUDE: (Looking out the window.) There is a willow grows aslant the brook.

CLAUDIUS: Get on with it, slag.

GERTRUDE: Ophelia's gone and fucking drowned!

CLAUDIUS: Fuck! Laertes isn't half going to be browned off.

[Exeunt.]

SCENE III

A Corridor.

[Enter LAERTES.]

LAERTES: (Alone) I'm going to fucking do this lot.

[Enter CLAUDIUS.]

CLAUDIUS: I didn't fucking do it, mate. It was that wanker Hamlet.

LAERTES: Well, fuck him.

[Exeunt.]

ACT V

SCENE I

Hamlet's Bedchamber.

[Enter HAMLET and HORATIO.]

HAMLET: I got this feeling I'm going to cop it, Horatio, and you know, I couldn't give a flying fuck.

[Exeunt.]

SCENE II

Large Hall.

[Enter HAMLET, LAERTES, COURT, GERTRUDE, CLAUDIUS.]

LAERTES: Oi, wanker: let's get on with it.

HAMLET: Delighted, fuckface.

[They fight and both are poisoned by the poisoned sword.]

LAERTES: Fuck!

HAMLET: Fuck!

[The QUEEN drinks.]

GERTRUDE: Fucking odd wine!

CLAUDIUS: You drunk the wrong fucking cup, you stupid cow!

[GERTRUDE dies.]

HAMLET: (Pouring the poison down CLAUDIUS'S throat) Well, fuck you!

CLAUDIUS: I'm fair and squarely fucked.

[CLAUDIUS dies.]

LAERTES: Oi, mush: no hard feelings, eh?

HAMLET: Yer.

[LAERTES dies.]

HAMLET: Oi! Horatio!

HORATIO: Yer?

HAMLET: I'm fucked. The rest is fucking silence.

[HAMLET dies.]

HORATIO: Fuck: that was no ordinary wanker, you know.

[Enter FORTINBRAS.]

FORTINBRAS: What the fuck's going on here?

HORATIO: A fucking mess, that's for sure.

FORTINBRAS: No kidding. I see Hamlet's fucked.

HORATIO: Yer.

FORTINBRAS: Fucking shame: fucking good bloke.

HORATIO: Too fucking right.

FORTINBRAS: Fuck this for a lark then. Let's piss off.

[Exeunt with alarums.]

The Ultimate World of Darkness Lightbulb Joke Fle

E deixo-vos com o HIPER MEGA ULTRA FICHEIRO de piadas de Lâmpadas do WOD, compilado por mim de varios sites, homepages, e mailing lists.

COM VOCÊS:

THE ULTIMATE WORLD OF DARKNESS LIGHTBULB JOKES FILE

VAMPIRE

Camarilla

How many Brujah does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two: one to screw in the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.

How many Brujah does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. But he uses a chainsaw.

How many Brujah does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Four. One to do it and three to hold the bike.

How many Brujah does it take to screw in a light bulb?
"Changing light bulbs is part of the capitalist, neo-nazi, oppression of the people! I refuse to change --" <thunk> "OUCH! Who put a wall there?"

How many Brujah does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. Brujah ain't afraid of the dark.

How many Brujah does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. Let the Rabble do the dishes in the dark.

How many Brujah does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Hey, you can screw in your own damn light bulb!

How many Brujah does it take to change a light bulb?
If you want it changed to fragments, only one.

How many Brujah Princes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
What a sacreligious thought: A BRUJAH PRINCE?

How many Brujah Idealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, he refuses to believe it is broken.

How many Gangrel does it take to screw in a light bulb?
What's a lightbulb? A new kind of tree?

How many Gangrel does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Blah. Who needs light bulbs when the moon is out?

How many Gangrel does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. "Whatta ya mean no camp fires?"

How many Gangrel does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only one, but if he's using protean, he's a munchkin.

How many Malkavians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. We have auspex, silly.

How many Malkavians does it take to change a light bulb?
"Oh yeah? Prove that it needs changing."

How many Malkavians does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but it depends if the tomato is ripe and chicken is willing.

How many Malkavians does it take to change a light bulb?
The FISH!!

How many Malkavians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Six: five to hold the giraffe and one to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.

How many Malkavians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
200: one to hold the bulb and 199 to rotate the house to screw it in.

How many Malkavians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
(The Word Eater Was Here)

How many Malkavians does it take to change a light bulb?
It's MY BULB! I took it, it spoke to me, it's MINE!!

How many Malkavians does it take to change a light bulb?
Which one?

How many Malkavians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one, but the bulb might refuse to shine afterwards...

How many Malkavians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one, but it will be put in sideways.

How many Malkavians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, but first she needs to call the Magic Cow for aid. "MOOOOOOO!"

How many Malkavians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they think the light is still on, and telling them stories.

How many Malkavians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A dog, because ice cream has no bones.

How many Malkavians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, but the question is, how did they get in it?

How many Malkavians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Depends whether you count the other voices.

How many Malkavians without the multiple personality derangement does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Both of them.

How many Nosferatu does it take to screw in a light bulb?
DO they have light bulbs down there?

How many Nosferatu does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None - They already know everything, why do they need light?

How many Nosferatu does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. Nosferatu look better in the dark.

How many Toreador does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1 Artiste to put it in and 2 Poseurs to critique the performance.

How many Toreador does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One to hold it, and too many others to sculpt it, draw it, paint it, make a poem about it...

How many Toreador does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. A burned out light bulb is clearly great art.

How many Toreador does it take to change a light bulb?
Two: one to change it, the other to criticize the lampshade.

How many Toreador does it take to change a light bulb?
One. "But the bulb I want has to be from Fraance" (whiney voice)

How many Toreador does it take to change a light bulb?
Does it have to be a light bulb? How about a nice candelabra, or a pretty sconce. Maybe a Victorian chandelier …

How many Toreador does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but by the time she's done improvising an interprative dance about changing the bulb, the sun is up.

How many Toreador does it take to screw in a light bulb?
:: squeal :: Oooh! I've never done it in a light bulb before!

How many Toreador does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to do it and two to serve refreshments.

How many Toreador does it take to screw in a light bulb?
50. One to actually screw in the light bulb and 49 to say how they could've done it better.

How many Toreador does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, but it will take them an hour once they are done being fascinated by the refrigerator light.

How many Toreador does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three: one to screw in an Art Deco bulb and two to shriek "FABULOUS, DAHHHLING!"

How many Toreador does it take to screw in a light bulb?
What? And wreck my nails?

How many Toreador does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. She holds onto the bulb and waits for the world to revolve around her.

How many Toreador Artistes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. They don't like to share the spotlight.

How many Toreador Artistes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. But 500 auditioned for the part.

How many Tremeres does it take to change a light bulb?
Five, after the ritual has been completed (of course).

How many Tremeres does it take to change a light bulb?
One. "You will change my light bulb. . .", "I will change your light bulb. . ." "You will forget you ever saw me . . .", "I will forget I ever saw you . . . "

How many Tremeres does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Six. One to notice the light bulb is broken, one to tell the Chantry head, one to conjure a new bulb, one to levitate the old one out, one to levitate the new one in, and one to dominate the old one into forgetting it ever happened.

How many Tremeres does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two: one to do it and the other to deny that it was done.

How many Tremeres does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Sorry, can't tell you. Clan secret.

How many Tremeres does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. But it takes him eight weeks to gather up enough XP.

How many Tremeres does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three. One to do it and two to confuse the issue.

How many Tremeres does it take to change a light bulb?
Three: one to change it, one to make sure nobody's looking, and one to tell the Council of Seven.

How many Ventrues does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None - They have flunkies for that sort of thing.

How many Ventrues does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one, but they have to have a board meeting and attain a quorum first.

How many Ventrues does it take to change a light bulb?
What do you mean, change it? It's a perfectly good bloody bulb. We have had it for a thousand years and it has worked just *fine*.

How many Ventrues does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Nine. Eight to sit on the committee and one to get his ghoul to do it.

How many Ventrues does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None: What is a lightbulb? I always used candles!

How many Ventrue Childer does it take to screw in a light bulb?
I haven't earned the right to make a ghoul yet.

How many Ventrues does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, we don't DO manual labor!

How many Ventrues does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. You have an overwhelming compulsion to do it yourself.

How many Ventrues does it take to change a light bulb?
Change? Change!?!....

How many Ventrues does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two: one to tell the other to call a servant.

Sabbat

How many Sabbat does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Four. One to do it, one to frenzy over it, one to laugh maniacally about it and one to report the other three to the bishop.

How many Sabbat does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Twelve: one to perform the deed, and eleven to provide cover fire.

How many Tzimisces does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Seven. One to flesh-craft a ghoul into a glass sphere, another to flesh-craft a homeless person into bio-luminescent filament...

How many Tzimisces does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, but it's the poor bastard who's been crafted onto the mains you want to worry about.

How many Tzimisce does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but he has to sleep with the old one every night.

How many Tzimisces does it take to change a light bulb?
Depends on what you want it changed to! ::cracks knuckes::

How many Lasombra does it take to change a light bulb?
How can you tell that the light isn't working?

How many Lasombra does it take to change a light bulb?
None. We like it in the dark.

How many Lasombra does it take to change a light bulb?
Oh we don't need to change the old one, it's just been shrouded.

How many Malkavian antitribu does it take to screw in a light bulb?
What Malkavian antitribu? We're PANDERS, damn it!

How many Salubri antitribu does it take to change a light bulb?
Four. One to put in the new lightbulb and three to fight of a nearby Tremere who was trying to change the lightbulb first.

How many Blood Brothers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, but how can you tell which one did it?

Independent

How many Assamites does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, if the price is right.

How many Capaddocians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
No idea. They're too busy studying the dead one.

How many Children of Osiris does it take to change a light bulb?
Two: one to change the light bulb, and one to cleanse it first of its sins.

How many Daughters of Cacophony does it take to change a light bulb?
None. It's her fault it's broken.

How many Daughters of Cacophony does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two: one to blast the old one out of its socket, and one to put the new one in.

How many Gargoyles does it take to change a light bulb?
Touch this light bulb and you die.

How many Giovanni does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. But if he does it wrong they’ll break his kneecaps.

How many Giovanni does it take to change a light bulb?
Three: one to put it in and two to summon and control the spirit of the old one.

How many Giovanni does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but they have to find a bulb that was related to the original.

How many Giovanni does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one. "Oh excuse me, could you please test the socket with your finger while I go get a new bulb?"

How many Ravnos does it take to change a light bulb?
Light bulb? *whistles innocently* What Light bulb?

How many Ravnos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, but he was the one who took the light bulb in the first place.

How many Ravnos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
There's nothing wrong with the light bulb. It's all in your eyes.

How many Ravnos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one, but you'd better check your wallet when the lights come back on.

How many Salubri does it take to change a light bulb?
None. The light bulb has found peace.

How many Salubri does it take to change a light bulb?
Two: one to heal the old bulb, and one to watch the door for Tremere.

How many Samedi does it take to change a light bulb?
None. The bulb will run away

How many Setites does it take to change a light bulb?
We prefer the dark, but if you really want it changed, we have jussssst the bulb for you... for a priccccce...

Others

How many Vampires does it take to screw in a light bulb?
But they like it dark.

How many ghouls does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. one to put a new light bulb in, one to break the first's bulb and replace it with his own and then a third to go tell the master that he changed it.

How many Anarchs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
All of them.

How many Harpies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. It's rumored to have been done already.

How many Elders does it take to screw in a light bulb?
"Wait a second, where does the candle go?"

How many Justicars does it take to change a light bulb?
Three: One to change it, one to pass judgment, and one to dispute it.

How many Princes does it take to change a light bulb?
None: The Justicars said to stay out of their way.

How many Primogen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Who knows? They have to vote on it first and then wait for the Prince to approve.

How Antediluvians does it take to change a light bulb?
None: They broke it in the first place, saying, quote, 'Who woke me up?!? And why in the Nine Hells is this bright light shining?'

WEREWOLF

How many Lupines does it take to screw in a light bulb?
"Light bulbs are the spawn of the Wyrm! How dare you ask me . . .“[Crunch, crunch, mangle, shred]

How many Lupines does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None - The burned out bulb reminds them of Gaia's plight, and they'd all rage and destroy each other before they could get around to doing it.

How many Lupines does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two: one to put it in, and one to go out and kill something to celebrate the rite of bulb changing.

How many Lupines does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one, but he has to defeat all the other fuzzies who want to do it first.

How many Lupines does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one, but all the tribes have to fight about which one gets to do it.

How many Lupines does it take to screw in a light bulb??
What's a light bulb?

How many Lupines does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two: one to screw in it and a Gaillard to write a song exaggerating the legendary task.

How many Lupines does it take to change a light bulb?
Two: one to change it, and a Gaillard to write a song honoring the old bulb.

How many Lupines does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but they'll never get it changed in time.

How many Lupines does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None: the burned-out bulb reminds them of Gaia's plight, and they'd all rage and destroy each other before they get around to doing it.

How many Lupines sitting around a fire pit does it take to screw in a light bulb?
FIFTEEN: One to explain the Garou way of lightbulbs to the cubs, One to make wisecracks, Three to talk about other Garou behind their backs, Two to growl vague threats at each other, One to go idle while answering all the reg-mail, Two to go idle 'cus they're at work, One to show how ignorant the lupus can be of the homid's strange technology, and Four to wonder at the tragedy and woe implicit in the Garou way of life...HEY! WAIT! None of them are actually screwing in the light bulb!

How many Lupines does it take to change a light bulb?
"Okay, let me see if I understand Garou social structure. An Ahroun, a Theurge, a Ragabash and a Philodox are sitting in a room. The light bulb burns out. The Ahroun directs a meaningful stare at the Theurge, expecting him to fix it. The Theurge ignores him, continuing to meditate. The Ragabash makes jokes about how brave they all are, to sit in the dark like that. Finally, the Philodox rolls his eyes, heaves a sigh, and gets up to replace the bulb."

How many Ahrouns does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two to fight for the honor of being the one chosen to journey to the Scab in quest of the lightbulb. Two to fight for the honor of being the one chosen to put the lightbulb in. And an entire pack to patrol the perimeter while the lightbulb is being screwed in, lest the Wyrm choose this moment of vulnerability to attack...

How many Philodox does it take to change a light bulb?
SIX: Two to debate the merits of 40 Watt vs. 70 Watt bulbs, One to mediate the dispute, One to cite meaningful portions of the Litany (Does "The Veil shall not be lifted" include lampshades?), One to keep the Get and the Furies from throating each other as they bump around in the dark while waiting for the bulb to be changed, and One to screw in the light bulb.

How many Ragabash does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Hmmm... *naughty grin* Haven't tried _that_ yet...

How many Ragabash does it take to change a light bulb?
Shhh... You'll spoil everything! The Wyrm can't see us here in the dark... (This could also be FAMOUS LAST WORDS!)

How many Black Furies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Get a man to do it!

How many Black Furies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
THAT'S NOT FUNNY!

How many Black Furies does it take to change a light bulb?
One to change the bulb and three to frenzy over the violation of the socket.

How many Black Spiral Dancers does it take to change a light bulb?
None... you change yourself...

How many Bone Gnawers does it take to change a light bulb?
F**k, they'd eat it.

How many Children of Gaia does it take to change a light bulb?
TEN: One to change the bulb and the other nine to "experience" it.

How many Children of Gaia does it take to change a light bulb?
No, no, no. We cannot change the light bulb until it's ready to change, and besides, it wouldn't be burned out if we hadn't imposed the Impergium for so long.

How many Children of Gaia does it take to change a light bulb?
Three, One to put in the new bulb, one to recycle the old one, and one to meditate on how Gaia feels about the change.

How many Croatan does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Don't know, but the Wendigo and Uktena would sure like to know.

How many Fianna does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One to screw it in, and nine to write bad poems and songs about it.

How many Fianna does it take to screw in a light bulb?
TWO: One to hold the bulb and another to drink until the room starts spinning...

How many Get of Fenris does it take t.... AAaaccCCcKKkk.... brbl...
let go of my... (gasp)... throat.... ahcckk... Bloody Claws, it was just a... aCCkK... JOKE... (where's a stick?) ACCCKKKK!

How many Glass Walkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only one but it'll COST ya...

How many Glass Walkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Wouldn't that break the Litany?

How many Red Talons does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, wolves don't have opposable thumbs.

How many Red Talons does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Weaver thing. Kill.

How many Shadow Lords does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to put in the new bulb and another to stab him in the back while he's doing it.

How many Shadow Lords does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, but you have to make him alpha or he won't even consider it!

How many Silent Striders does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only one, but he'll go all the way to Tokyo for the bulb...and charge mileage.

How many Silver Fangs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
FOUR: One to talk about the great light bulb screwings of days past, One to consult a wise ancestor about the proper techniques of light bulb insertion, One to screw it in, and One to remind him to stop talking into space and screw in the lightbulb.

How many Stargazers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Leave the bulb dead. The bloody light pollution interferes with my skywatching!!

How many Stargazers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Wow, man... that's, like, a really deep question.

How many Stargazers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. Stargazers see by their own inner light.

How many Stargazers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
The use of lightbulbs only binds you further to this poor material world...

How many Uktena does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One to keep everyone else away, while the others... Let's just say it gets screwed in and leave it at that!

How many Uktena does it take to change a light bulb?
Why, none, of course. They'd rather leave everyone else in the dark...

How many Wndigo does it take to change a light bulb?
Only weak whites need light bulbs...

CHANGELING

How many Changelings does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but the new one will make funny-colored lights.

How many Boggans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, but he has to finish cooking dinner, washing the laundry, and trimming the hedges.

How many Eshu does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, but first he has to go on a quest to find a new lightbulb and then tell the tale of "My trip to the store!".

How many Knockers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Four. One to build a machine totake out the old one, one to build a new lightbulb, and two to cuss abbout how they could've done it better.

How many Pooka does it take to change a light bulb?
None, I just changed it!

How many Redcaps does it take to screw in a light bulb??
Mmmmmmmm... light bulbs.....

How many Satyrs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. Satyrs screw in hotel rooms, not light bulbs.

How many Sidhe does it take to change a light bulb?
One. “Squire, change that light bulb.”

How many Sluagh does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, the bulbs keeps sliding out of their hands.

How many Trolls does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, but it takes an hour to swear the oath.

OTHER DENIZEMS OF THE WOD

How many Mortals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
I don't know, three so far! *slurp*

How many Hunters does it take to change a light bulb?
One, if he has faith that the bulb WILL be changed.

How many Arcanum Members does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they just study the process of burning out. They don't do anything about it.

How many Mummies does it take to change a light bulb?
None. It will be reborn in a few hundred years anyway.

How many Gypsies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
What light bulb? Talk to that Ravnos over there.

How many Mages does it take to screw in a light bulb?
501: one to transmute the bulb into a new one, and 500 to deal with the paradox spirits.

How many Wraiths does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, but you have to smash the bulb first.

How many Wraiths does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, but he had to be REALLY close to that light bulb before he died to stick around long enough to do it.

How many Sam Haights does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, but only if he can get a lupine skin.

How many mortals does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But he can't, because the place is too crowded with Brujah, Tremere, Malkavians, Nosferatu, Ventrue, Lasombra, Ravnos, Gangrel, Samedi, Salubri, Toreador, Tzimisce, Assamites, Daughters of Cacophony, Gargoyles, Giovanni, Blood Brothers, Black Furies, Black Spiral Dancers, Shadow Lords, Silver Fangs, Stargazers, Children of Gaia, Fianna, Bonw Gnawers, Sluags, Boggans, Sidhe, Trolls, Knockers, Redcaps, Hunters, Satyrs, Mummies, Wraiths and Mages arguing about how many it takes to change it.

You know you're in the WOD when....

You know you're in the WOD when....

...when a Catholic Priest starts his sermon with the words.."Bow your FUCKING HEAD!!! Let us pray.."

....when every other car that turns the corner is a new sports car with some bad-ass behind the wheel.

....when that same bad-ass rams that new sports car into the side of a building because he botched his damn roll.

....when lightning does occasionally strike on a clear night.

....when a city block is destroyed because a 'gas main' blew.

....when that same city block is completely repaired the next week.

....when you're the only one in a club because every other person has Obfuscate and is using it and you don't.

...when every person you meet on the street is a Mage, Werewolf, or Vampire pretending to be human.

....when people just fall out of the sky and land next to you...(Malkavians that thought they could fly so they jumped from a plane at 20,000ft)..

.... if you have every heard.. "Ok I am going to jump of the roof and right before I hit the ground I'm going to EarthMeld."

.. when there are over thirteen Vampire Clans fighting to secretly control humanity

... when there are a bunch of mages, casting spells and fighting the technocracy, who also happens to be secretly controlling humanity.

... When shapechangers are fighting the Wyrm controlled Pentex Corporation - who also, coincidentelly, secretly controls humanity.

... when there are wraiths and the Fae running around, if not trying to control humanity, then at least interfere with it.

... when there are numerous other wacko's, religious cults and terrorist organisations, all trying to kill something.

... when (and this is the kicker), despite all of this, humanity, in general, does not have a fucking clue as to what is happening right under their noses.

...where the mortal Goths out number the rest of the population 2 to 1.

...when the first thought to the word Prince does not make you think of the son of a king first.

...when a witness says "It looked like some big guy in a wolf costume" to the cop asking questions.

...when the Cops are always 2 minute late in getting to the seen of the crime, and who was at fault has long sense left.

...where the magic show in Las Veges is real, and no one but his friends know.

...when white tigers are more common then orange ones. (Kahn Bastets in my groups games)

...when Stephen King and other Horror Fiction authors have nothing on the "real" world.

...when New York is safe in the streets around Central Park.

.. When you can blame the last post's lack of content on Nos Hackers, instead of a screw up.

.....When the no resource revolutionaries with no fixed address have cell phones and email.

.....When Night Court handles things like traffic tickets.

.....when you realize even the podunk towns have stores that are all open untill 10:00pm.

.....when the liquer board never checks up on complaints about funny tasting red "wine"

......the Dept. of Public Health issues concerned statements about mass anemia among the poor and downtrodden.

....when you wake up in a small dark room and you're dead..

....when you can find a gun shop open 24/7

....when you see a man piss on the ground and sidesteps reality.

....when every club is open till sunrise.

...when you see a man running down the street, trip and stake himself on a toothpick.

...when you see a man take two full UZI clips into the chest, two grenades in the back, a sword threw his side, and a knife in the head and all he says is "Ouch, that kinda itches alittle.."

..when the moon is full every time you can actually see it through all the rolling, thunderous stormclouds.

...when nobody figures out that the bloody Tremere headquarter is located in the +100-floor-skyskraper made out of black marble and covered with gargoyles which seem to have changed position every time you look at them.

...when vampires look more alive than normal people, because they actually try to look like normal people while the normal people try to look like vampires. It gets confusing sometimes.

...when nobody thought The Crow movie had a dark and brooding atmosphere or a gothic feel to it. "It was very realistic." people say.

...when conversations don't begin with 'How was your day?' but 'How many people did you kill today?'

...when the leading cause of death in the world is exsanguination.

...when half the dead people you know still drop by for a visit every once in a while.

...when there are no human owned companies.

...when repressed memories are the most common psychological problems, due to the veil, delirium, dominate 3, etc.

...when Fox Mulder is the head of the FBI.

...when everyone you know has app 5 or 6 but you.

.. if your son feels its neccesary to "battle the Wyrm" every goddamn night

... when half the population disappears during the day

... when the government invests in e.t.-detecting glasses and uses them on senators

... when the congress investigates the president to find where THEY can find good hookers for a reasonable price

... when you're a serial killer and your victim ate you

... when you try to take candy from a baby and get shot

... when you can swear you smell a rotting corpse but it is just the local panhandlers

....when every black leather coat is sold out.

...when Luxembourg is located in Scandinavia.

...when vampires in Denmark have trouble with "Midnight Sun".

.. when every episode of the Twilight Zone is a lame documentary film.

... when "the dinner is served" man looks an awful lot like the leather nut from Pulp Fiction.

... when every potentialy instructive topic is presented as a "dark and mysterious secret".

... when your writting does not compensate your absolute lack of knowledge in geography and demographics.

... when you can go on to say: "Hey! It is my idea! I know where I want to go with this!" and people pay you for it.

...when shinning wealth and third world poverty crowd together in a single city.

...where corperations buy and sell lives like POGs.

...where psychotic militant groups and fringe religious cults throw hatred and violence at people who don't deserve it.

...when personal success is proportional to the amount of people you step on.

...when you regularly hear sirens off in the distance every five minutes.

...when you can learn a lot about life by just talking to a street prostitute.

...weather forecast goes along these lines - "Cloudy. Chance of rain. Pretty much the same for the rest of the week."

...you hear your next door neighbour beating up on his wife/kid/dog on a regular basis.

...Walking to and from work is an exercise in hoping you get there safely.

...The tabloids are more believable than regular newspapers.

...There are several really cool nightclubs where goths hang out.

...you at least once woke somewhere not knowing how you got there. You feel slightly drained and you neck hurts...

..when the head of the art gallery looks at you funny and keeps calling you "mortal".

...when the obituaries take up more room in the paper than the stock reports.

...when your town has the following: cemetary, occult shop, gothic looking art museum, more cemetaries, gun shops, knife shops, sword shops, cemetaries, and 4 blood banks. For a population of 3,500 and falling.

....when everyone on the street has a poorly concealed shotgun underneath their long trenchcoat.

..when pigeons try to crap on church statues and they get their heads ripped off. (Gargoyles, if you didn't get that one)

...when every radio station plays nothing but Switchblade Symphony, Type O Negative, Rosetta Stone, Fields of Nephlim, and Eva O Hallo.

...when every Motorcycle is either a Harly, or "That cool one from Crow 2".

...when every suit is accented with lace and ruffles, a cane (with a sword inside it), a cape, and a top hat.

...when you see 40-50 rats running down the street in a tight pack towards the same direction, and it doesn't bother you the least bit.

...when you go to see John Carpenter's Vampires, and the whole movie you keep hearing people saying, "what a moron, i can do that ten times better than he can!"

... when you're grandmother wants you to start dating "some nice, human girl"

...when the Rocky Horror Picture Show manages to launch the careers of several stars, like Susan Sarandon, Tim Curry and Barry Bostwi... never mind...

...when every one of us who has ever accessed this web site is murdered in our sleep for "knowing too much"

..When the only time a city gets any sunshine, it's for the surreal awe and innocence scene just before it gets obliterated by a pissed off Mage with Forces 5/Prime 2

...Everybody wears Trenchcoats and Fedora's, with a bulge at the side.

...Kids in Third World Countries are working as fast as they can to dye clothes black.

...A body with half the blood gone, and no wounds, comes rolling into the morgue and nobody is suprised.

...You stub your toe on the street, and a guy in a black cape with an Omega symbol clasp appears out of an alley, holding a gun, muttering something about Returning to the Wheel.

...Poe, Shelly, Byron, and Lovecraft are put in the non-fiction section, at the library.

...The Pale Biker Thugs run away when you introduce yourself as "David Giovanni."

...You see an ad in a local tabloid for Dr. Vladamir's scalpel-less cosmetic surgery.

...Half of the people you interview for the job as the Driver of the Red Cross "Blood Mobile" say they can't work day hours.

...There are at least a half-dozen abandoned Gothic Cathredrals in the city.

...everybody in the city has at least once seen a wild dog attack, woken up pale and tired after picking somebody up in a club, or had a bad dream about Big Blue People with Hammers after scolding a 6 year old that there are no monsters under the bed.