January snow


The night was moisty and cold, as it was to be expected in mid January; like it was promising a snow fall that never seemed to come. The park was silent and its yellowish lights were painting the floor with the steady shade of the trees, making Hyde Park look even emptier. A lone figure was strolling, carelessly, through the gardens; he was the only moving thing in the park. There was no wind, no animals, no sound; nothing but his shadow slowly passing and his light footsteps warning no one of his presence.

He had forgotten about his lone night walks since he started working at the hospital. He always had extra hours in the Emergency Service, paperwork to attend or cases to review; midnight walks and meditative moments were a time luxury Ian had forgotten. Now, in these last weeks, he had all the time he needed; but moonlight walks seemed to lose their appealing philosophical mood the moment one can't walk by day. The night wasn't obscure and intriguing anymore; it was just silent.

Ian would have liked if it snowed. He would imagine himself as one of the unmoving trees, and he would just watch as the park would be painted white. Just the thought made the vampire smile. He remembered the water globe he had when he was a boy; it only had the London Bridge, but when shaken little white flocks would dance around and create for him a permanent winter. Ian would keep Hyde Park like that, in a little Water globe, inside his mind.

Then on Wednesday, after the Lancea come for the Circle, he could just shake his globe and remember Hyde Park without it's colour of blood. And for that second he could try to push away the memory of having allowed Adam to die. Or maybe on Wednesday they would die together, standing against the Lancea, and the snow on the little globe would bury them together.

With a cynical smile, the vampire kicked a little fallen branch. How will the Dracul react when they find out that, for that moment, he aligned with the Circle of the Crow? He felt like a spoiled brat and laughed alone. He wouldn't be a Dracul fighting alongside with the Circle; he would be Adam's lover, or Adam's child, fighting alongside with him. But could he be Ian without being a Dracul? He didn't even knew what the Dracul were or what they believed in exactly. To be honest with himself, Ian wasn't even sure anymore of why he joined them. Maybe he just wanted to belong to something and to be able to trust someone.

What is a Covenant anyway? A group of people that trust and help each other? A group that share knowledge and power? An ideal? An idea? If it is an idea, what would the Lancea gain in killing all the Circle of the Crow? Even if they were killed, the covenant would still exist. Ian wished he had such a strong faith in something and such a strong connection with someone. He trusted the Dracul, but he wasn't finding the motivation he needed or the faith he was just realizing he wanted.

He looked at the trees again, still and silent. Not aware of themselves, just existing, moving when the wind decides to blow. Would he end up like that? Just casting his shadow though London, when the light's on the right angle, unnoticed and unnoticing others? The Covenants fight each other because the need to feel alive, they need a reason to move even with the passing years. The world changes, but maybe vampires are rooted to the ground, and sooner or later they stop noticing the wind.

What about himself? Is there something for him? Deep inside, Ian, as innocently as a child dreams, hoped there were some meaning to everything that was happening to him. His strange dreams were intriguing, so was the legend of the Nosferatu being the messengers to hell. The crow in his dreams, Petrenkov taking Jacob's brother's body; and now, the unexpected and unconventional prophecies from Eric. More than understand, Ian wanted to follow that dim light of destiny; even if he wouldn't admit it to anyone. He didn't know if that path would pull him away from the Dracul, they might think him to be following dreams. But more importantly, he didn't want it to pull him away from Adam. That he would never allow.

They had come to terms with their feeling in less than a week and Adam would probably die the following night. Ian wasn't sure that, if he had the chance, he would to stop Adam from facing Alain. Part of him was terrified, of course, especially due to the fact that he wouldn't be of any help and that Adam would be fighting alone against such a stronger opponent. But he was remembering the conversation he had with Diane, hours ago. She accused Ian of one day acting as she was towards him; protecting those he loved, by deciding what's best and what's safe. Of course he wanted Adam safe, but at the same time he loved his sire too much to try and stop him from doing something so important to him. Did he love Adam enough to lose him?

Ian wasn't sure about the hour when he arrived at his car and he didn't care enough to look at the clock. He sat inside, facing the park, silent and unmoving. Tomorrow part of whatever was in store for him would be unleashed. Or so at least Eric warned. He turned the key and started the car, It didn't matter, "at least we die together", Ian said out loud.

Mais um belo write-up entre sessões. Gostei da ideia do globo de neve, uma imagem que atravessa o texto todo. Mais 18 XPs para o Ian