You know you're in the WOD when

You know you're in the WOD when....

...when a Catholic Priest starts his sermon with the words.."Bow your FUCKING HEAD!!! Let us pray.."

....when every other car that turns the corner is a new sports car with some bad-ass behind the wheel.

....when that same bad-ass rams that new sports car into the side of a building because he botched his damn roll.

....when lightning does occasionally strike on a clear night.

....when a city block is destroyed because a 'gas main' blew.

....when that same city block is completely repaired the next week.

....when you're the only one in a club because every other person has Obfuscate and is using it and you don't.

...when every person you meet on the street is a Mage, Werewolf, or Vampire pretending to be human.

....when people just fall out of the sky and land next to you...(Malkavians that thought they could fly so they jumped from a plane at 20,000ft)..

.... if you have every heard.. "Ok I am going to jump of the roof and right before I hit the ground I'm going to EarthMeld."

.. when there are over thirteen Vampire Clans fighting to secretly control humanity

... when there are a bunch of mages, casting spells and fighting the technocracy, who also happens to be secretly controlling humanity.

... When shapechangers are fighting the Wyrm controlled Pentex Corporation - who also, coincidentelly, secretly controls humanity.

... when there are wraiths and the Fae running around, if not trying to control humanity, then at least interfere with it.

... when there are numerous other wacko's, religious cults and terrorist organisations, all trying to kill something.

... when (and this is the kicker), despite all of this, humanity, in general, does not have a fucking clue as to what is happening right under their noses.

...where the mortal Goths out number the rest of the population 2 to 1.

...when the first thought to the word Prince does not make you think of the son of a king first.

...when a witness says "It looked like some big guy in a wolf costume" to the cop asking questions.

...when the Cops are always 2 minute late in getting to the seen of the crime, and who was at fault has long sense left.

...where the magic show in Las Veges is real, and no one but his friends know.

...when white tigers are more common then orange ones. (Kahn Bastets in my groups games)

...when Stephen King and other Horror Fiction authors have nothing on the "real" world.

...when New York is safe in the streets around Central Park.

.. When you can blame the last post's lack of content on Nos Hackers, instead of a screw up.

.....When the no resource revolutionaries with no fixed address have cell phones and email.

.....When Night Court handles things like traffic tickets.

.....when you realize even the podunk towns have stores that are all open untill 10:00pm.

.....when the liquer board never checks up on complaints about funny tasting red "wine"

......the Dept. of Public Health issues concerned statements about mass anemia among the poor and downtrodden.

....when you wake up in a small dark room and you're dead..

....when you can find a gun shop open 24/7

....when you see a man piss on the ground and sidesteps reality.

....when every club is open till sunrise.

...when you see a man running down the street, trip and stake himself on a toothpick.

...when you see a man take two full UZI clips into the chest, two grenades in the back, a sword threw his side, and a knife in the head and all he says is "Ouch, that kinda itches alittle.."

..when the moon is full every time you can actually see it through all the rolling, thunderous stormclouds.

...when nobody figures out that the bloody Tremere headquarter is located in the +100-floor-skyskraper made out of black marble and covered with gargoyles which seem to have changed position every time you look at them.

...when vampires look more alive than normal people, because they actually try to look like normal people while the normal people try to look like vampires. It gets confusing sometimes.

...when nobody thought The Crow movie had a dark and brooding atmosphere or a gothic feel to it. "It was very realistic." people say.

...when conversations don't begin with 'How was your day?' but 'How many people did you kill today?'

...when the leading cause of death in the world is exsanguination.

...when half the dead people you know still drop by for a visit every once in a while.

...when there are no human owned companies.

...when repressed memories are the most common psychological problems, due to the veil, delirium, dominate 3, etc.

...when Fox Mulder is the head of the FBI.

...when everyone you know has app 5 or 6 but you.

.. if your son feels its neccesary to "battle the Wyrm" every goddamn night

... when half the population disappears during the day

... when the government invests in e.t.-detecting glasses and uses them on senators

... when the congress investigates the president to find where THEY can find good hookers for a reasonable price

... when you're a serial killer and your victim ate you

... when you try to take candy from a baby and get shot

... when you can swear you smell a rotting corpse but it is just the local panhandlers

....when every black leather coat is sold out.

...when Luxembourg is located in Scandinavia.

...when vampires in Denmark have trouble with "Midnight Sun".

.. when every episode of the Twilight Zone is a lame documentary film.

... when "the dinner is served" man looks an awful lot like the leather nut from Pulp Fiction.

... when every potentialy instructive topic is presented as a "dark and mysterious secret".

... when your writting does not compensate your absolute lack of knowledge in geography and demographics.

... when you can go on to say: "Hey! It is my idea! I know where I want to go with this!" and people pay you for it.

...when shinning wealth and third world poverty crowd together in a single city.

...where corperations buy and sell lives like POGs.

...where psychotic militant groups and fringe religious cults throw hatred and violence at people who don't deserve it.

...when personal success is proportional to the amount of people you step on.

...when you regularly hear sirens off in the distance every five minutes.

...when you can learn a lot about life by just talking to a street prostitute. forecast goes along these lines - "Cloudy. Chance of rain. Pretty much the same for the rest of the week." hear your next door neighbour beating up on his wife/kid/dog on a regular basis.

...Walking to and from work is an exercise in hoping you get there safely.

...The tabloids are more believable than regular newspapers.

...There are several really cool nightclubs where goths hang out. at least once woke somewhere not knowing how you got there. You feel slightly drained and you neck hurts...

..when the head of the art gallery looks at you funny and keeps calling you "mortal".

...when the obituaries take up more room in the paper than the stock reports.

...when your town has the following: cemetary, occult shop, gothic looking art museum, more cemetaries, gun shops, knife shops, sword shops, cemetaries, and 4 blood banks. For a population of 3,500 and falling.

....when everyone on the street has a poorly concealed shotgun underneath their long trenchcoat.

..when pigeons try to crap on church statues and they get their heads ripped off. (Gargoyles, if you didn't get that one)

...when every radio station plays nothing but Switchblade Symphony, Type O Negative, Rosetta Stone, Fields of Nephlim, and Eva O Hallo.

...when every Motorcycle is either a Harly, or "That cool one from Crow 2".

...when every suit is accented with lace and ruffles, a cane (with a sword inside it), a cape, and a top hat.

...when you see 40-50 rats running down the street in a tight pack towards the same direction, and it doesn't bother you the least bit.

...when you go to see John Carpenter's Vampires, and the whole movie you keep hearing people saying, "what a moron, i can do that ten times better than he can!"

... when you're grandmother wants you to start dating "some nice, human girl"

...when the Rocky Horror Picture Show manages to launch the careers of several stars, like Susan Sarandon, Tim Curry and Barry Bostwi... never mind...

...when every one of us who has ever accessed this web site is murdered in our sleep for "knowing too much"

..When the only time a city gets any sunshine, it's for the surreal awe and innocence scene just before it gets obliterated by a pissed off Mage with Forces 5/Prime 2

...Everybody wears Trenchcoats and Fedora's, with a bulge at the side.

...Kids in Third World Countries are working as fast as they can to dye clothes black.

...A body with half the blood gone, and no wounds, comes rolling into the morgue and nobody is suprised.

...You stub your toe on the street, and a guy in a black cape with an Omega symbol clasp appears out of an alley, holding a gun, muttering something about Returning to the Wheel.

...Poe, Shelly, Byron, and Lovecraft are put in the non-fiction section, at the library.

...The Pale Biker Thugs run away when you introduce yourself as "David Giovanni."

...You see an ad in a local tabloid for Dr. Vladamir's scalpel-less cosmetic surgery.

...Half of the people you interview for the job as the Driver of the Red Cross "Blood Mobile" say they can't work day hours.

...There are at least a half-dozen abandoned Gothic Cathredrals in the city.

...everybody in the city has at least once seen a wild dog attack, woken up pale and tired after picking somebody up in a club, or had a bad dream about Big Blue People with Hammers after scolding a 6 year old that there are no monsters under the bed.